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Female Trouble

After a LONG absence from the blog, I was just in the right mood to get something off my chest again. As you can already imagine from the title, it’s about women today, now I try NOT to fall into some clich├ęs here, just telling some observations I made recently and what goes on deep inside me… yep it gets personal today.

I just noticed that once again when meeting young girls (girls in the age range of 18-20) in clubs you have to know what you’re dealing with, they tend you act as they have fallen for you but in fact, just wanted to have some fun with you while you’re there. Fun equals mostly dancing, kissing and maybe more at home later. Now I’m not saying this is the case with ALL younger girls in the club scene, but I just noticed this behavior now a few times, sometimes through friends. So In the future, I plan to adapt to this behavior, meaning act to those specific girls with the same fun attitude and just go with the flow and not think of anything further than what this all could mean.

But this is not all, I also realized that no matter how much you THINK you’ve gotten over a certain someone, you can’t fool your heart. So when you see this person again after a long time you TRY to act cool, you TRY to show that person that there are no feelings left but the moment you look her in the eyes from the other corner of the club and share a moment with her, you realize how you’re convincing yourself of something that you’re not, doesn’t work that well. So now I’m back in a moment where I’m not sure if I wanna be. To some degree, I think I wanna be there, that I wanna patch things up with her and TRY to make peace with her, but then I wonder if things will be different this time, different for the better.

Then there’s the question of how to start things, a moment like yesterday could still be misinterpreted and when you go out and expose yourself you could get hurt and be in more pain than before. But of course, there’s always the backside of a coin, the possibility of a new start. So I guess I have to do some thinking (even though I know this is completely wrong and I should act naturally, let my instincts guide me) and then there’s, of course, new years eve, and the best way to get a chance for a fresh start in a new year.